Bedknobs and BroomsticksReleased: August 23rd, 1971
Ultimately, the plot is held together very loosely and the pacing on the movie is pretty slow. I like that Eglantine is doing correspondence for witchcraft and that Browne is a huckster; I also like that her purpose is to help England win the war, and I like that she has to take the kids in. It's hard to tell what slows the pace down for me; maybe it's the side trip to Naboombu or the fight with the bookseller, or something. It feels like they tried to squeeze too much in and it made it slower and kind of boring?
The special effects are hit-or-miss, as is the music. But I do still love Eglantine, and the moments I had in my head as memories are still as fun now as they were when I was a kid. I definitely feel like this was another play by Disney to build off of Mary Poppins' success, and this is an inferior film.
| Rank | Title | Year | Grade |
|---|---|---|---|
| 23 | One Hundred and One Dalmatians | 1961 | B- |
| 24 | Bedknobs and Broomsticks | 1971 | C+ |
| 25 | Melody Time | 1948 | B |
All right y'all, I'm back on my bullshit again. It's been way too long since I did one of these and I need to stop avoiding Pocahontas. By way of getting there I need to do Bedknobs and Broomsticks, which I remember as one of my favorite films of all time, though I haven't seen it in a long time. I'm trying to decide if Brave Little Toaster counts, too, and my gut feeling is it doesn't. But I've also done Who Framed Roger Rabbit which shouldn't technically count either. WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHAT I'M DOING (not me).
Notable Grossness
There are some time-period-relevant slurs: "lascar", a term for Indian sailors, which is outdated but, from what I can tell, not as offensive as "hottentot" in Mary Poppins. Browne calls stealing "the gypsy switch." They refer to Germans as "Jerries," and I think.......huns, maybe? I didn't hear him clearly at the end and didn't want to go back to find out.
Interestingly, I don't think there's anything blatantly disrespectful about the multicultural dancers, they just seem out of place. I'd love to hear other opinions though. I'm guessing the dance styles and costumes are simplified/caricatures but it all seemed in the interest of showing diversity, but also was very unnecessary to the plot.
Emelius says some disparaging things about women, but they're mild - they always lose things, they never know how to file things. Shut up Emelius, you are a literal sham!
So - can we go back to the days when the entire credits played before the movie and then when the movie was over it was just over?
I adore that this film starts with medieval illustration art, and then Nazis just show up in the drawings. It's so great. And the inanimate armor soldiers are illustrated too! I forgot about that part.
Ahhhhhhh kids escaping the bombing in London - why is so much of the media I consume about groups of kids escaping the bombing in London?
Please note - the general is the same actor as Admiral Boom in Mary Poppins (and of course Professor Browne is Mr. Banks in Mary Poppins).
HERE COMES MISS PRICE ON THE BEST MOTORBIKE EVER. I love how sassy she is from the get go. So no-nonsense. "You're not going to send these kids with me, are you?" :sees paper: "Very well, just get them the hell out of here as fast as possible." :blasts the preacher with sulphur: BYEEEEE
Yeah, Rawlins kids, don't you frighten the cat! "Cosmic Creepus" is the best name for a cat.
Even though she's got no idea about how to be a mom, she bosses the HELL out of them to wash up as soon as possible. When she and the kids are debating what food to eat, I have never heard a more British set of sentences in my life.
NOW THE GOOD SHIT STARTS - APPRENTICE WITCH TIME. LoL the instructions insist she sit like a lady. This movie is so British. <-- I will probably say this 1100 more times. Okay I'm fairly certain the broom-flopping scene is done by a body double, but the physical acting of her fighting with the broom as she tries to learn how to ride it is hysterical.
Somehow I remembered the "being a witch and flying" part to be much more exciting and fun, but at leasat it was short. Charlie, you Cockney swindler! You deserved to be turned into a rabbit you brat.
I love the magic transformation effects, though, they're really delightful even after all these decades. I also really adore how Miss Price talks to the kids as if they're adults - it's accurate to her character given that she doesn't get on well with children, so she just treats them like adults. Paul is also the literal smartest kid. "Poisoned Dragon's Liver - do you poison the whole dragon or just the liver?"
I just love how earnest and straightforward Miss Price is. She's so convinced that she's going to be able to win the war, even as an apprentice. And even though she doesn't like kids, she's really insightful and kind, even to Charlie. Angela Lansbury singing "The Age of Not Believing" is delightful and actually very kind and sweet.
The flying bed is like the trip in the canal in Willy Wonka, the things people started to do with film in this era are all like an LSD trip. The kids look excited and happy, and I'd be freaking the fuck out.
I love the kids pushing the bed around in the alleys, and nobody looking twice. Also when she sends the kids to grab Professor Browne, I love how happy they are to assault him.
Watching Mr. Banks not being stuffy is really upsetting. I want him to stop smiling. And screaming about the theatre and pantomimes and stuff.
Emelius Browne saying, "I'm pretty glad for the bombing so I can live like a king," is certainly a take. O_O Wow dude.
The whole time until now I've been trying to remember her first name and I am so exceptionally thrilled it's Eglantine. And I'm also pretty happy about her just repeatedly turning Emelius into a rabbit. Like, just keep it up. He could stay that way the whole time, he's annoying me.
When they get to Portobello Road, and he's singing about it, and the painted backdrop with smoke coming out of the chimneys, this feels like yet another Mary Poppins.
Some ladies come up to them and say "You meet all your chums in the Portobello Road" and he says, "Good to see you, goodbye!" and they look sassy and leave - I can't tell if they're meant to be prostitutes.
UNNECESSARY DANCE BREAK, along with just genuinely horrible costumes on these women. Brief dance break by turban-wearing soldiers, brief dance break by Irish soldiers in kilts, brief dance break by Irish dancing ladies, brief dancing by soldiers and ladies from Trinidad. I'm honestly wondering if this is some kind of commentary on diversity of culture and people in London during the war, but..............it's not mentioned or discussed. It's just "LET'S HAVE A MULTICULTURAL DANCE PARTY IN THIS ALLEY." This part seems so much like the Chimney Sweep series in Mary Poppins.
I'm realizing that this plot makes no sense - why is there a book about the Isle of Naboombu in the exact house where Browne just happened to wander in while it was empty. Also love how this dude is about to STAB THIS CHILD WITH AN ENORMOUS KNIFE and then they're like - nah, we're out bro, so he just stares at them until they leave.
I also remember liking "Beautiful Briny Sea" as a song way better when I was younger. My favorite part is still the fish guys who come out of the clam with megaphones and just............gargle into them? So silly. Disney really leaned into the "people flying on wires" special effect between Mary Poppins and B&B. They win a dancing competition like Mary Poppins wins the horse race. Even some of the shots are framed the same - like when Paul starts to float up in the water, it's like when Michael in MP starts flying from the laughing; they both get pulled back down, almost in the same framing.
The King's voice is so great, but I'm not sure why he sounds like a pirate and calls people "Matey." Also the entrance he comes in to the soccer match says, "Kings or Better" 😂. Me when the completely ridiculous soccer match begins: "OH THESE GUYS IN BLUE ARE GONNA GET CRUSHED".
Classic Goofy-style audio - the Hyena yells "yeeeeee-hoo-hoo-hooey" when the King boots him in the butt during the match. And I genuinely love that when the Hippo swallows the ball they just start kicking him in the body. I don't know why that's so funny to me but I love it. The fact that the King's roar is so loud that it blows everyone around like a hurricane is really a delightful touch.
Poor Cosmic Creepus, getting run over by the bed. And poor Paul, nobody listens to him when it's important.
I love Eglantine's spellcasting voice, and her walking along with the shoes is one of the most iconic scenes in my head. Of course the flying inanimate objects is also very Mary Poppins.
YES! Eglantine's nightgown assaulting the preacher! DO IT.
Emelius don't leeeeeeeeeave......the Nazis are coming!!!!!!!! Stop fantasizing about Eglantine weirdly wobbling on a train track!
Also the Nazis show up and I'm supposed to believe this British kid is screaming and punching one of them and they don't kill him? Ha. I don't remember enough about WWII to know if it's reasonable that there would just be a U-Boat floating around surfaced in the lagoon?
I wish they'd subtitle the German. I know one of them said something like "Let's make rabbit stew" but that's only because I know "hasenpfeffer" from lyrics in Urinetown.
We went this whole movie with very little in the way of sexism and now all anyone can talk about is how much of a nuisance women are. I hate it.
I love that the colonel sees floating flags through his binoculars and shakes them really hard, like............what did you think was in them that you could shake out? That museum sure had a lot of armor in it to cover well over a mile of the ridge with inanimate soldiers, jeez.
Eglantine astride a broom with a sword and a WWII helmet is just :chefs kiss: I'm guessing that the soldiers are moving so slow because of limitations of the special effects at this time, but omg I didn't remember it taking them 300 hours to get to the Germans. Some of the fighting is interesting, and I know this is also action movie speed creep over the last 50 years (we expect things to be much faster and more explosive now), but it's a little boring. Also why do the machine guns shoot lasers? Damn you 1970s.
All-in-all, this film is pretty right-down-the-middle in quality. Music, animation, the mix between animation and live action, the plot. Everything's just "okay" in execution.
