Film Snark

Basil of Baker Street, a brown mouse in a brown trenchcoat, brown pants and white-and-black spats holds a magnifying glass up to a piece of paper. Dr. David Q. Dawson, a gray mouse with a bushy mustache and eyebrows, wearing a blue coat, blue pants, black shoes, a mauve sweater vest, a white shirt and a blue bow tie looks over his shoulder. They are standing in a sitting room with a glass-shaded lamp on a tea table and a fireplace.
B-
Disney Animated Features

The Great Mouse Detective
Released: July 2nd, 1986

Eff you, I love this movie. Basil of Baker Street is bae. If you don't have a crush on him, especially when he is dressed in a stunning peacoat and tiny fake mustache, I don't want to know you as a person.

This is just an adorable delight from start to finish. I forgot that it was LITERALLY a Sherlock Holmes movie, I thought it was just sort of an inspired-by thing. Also, Vincent Price! COME ON COME ON COME ON. I love when Dawson is cosplaying Smee.

Notable Grossness

Is it inappropriate that there's a burlesque number? 😳 I mean. I love it. So I'm gonna go with no. I'm the audience here, clearly. Fat jokes about the Queen. Dislike. But at least they come from the bad guy.

There are some clever bits of animation, notably: Big Ben's gears (particularly when Ratigan is running maniacally through them) and Basil matching bullet rifling (which I ADORE). I love how they designed Basil, Dawson, Olivia, Flaversham, and Fidget. I do think Fidget is a clone of Creeper from The Black Cauldron, but if I hadn't seen The Black Cauldron, Fidget would have been perfect as a first foray into a character like that. Also I love that Ratigan's big plan was basically a mockup of the MouseTrap board game. It's great. Olivia Flaversham, a young brown mouse wearing a blue-green shirt with a wide collar and dark bow at the neck, a blue plaid skirt, white socks, black mary jane shoes with a strap, and a red hairbow behind her left ear, pulls on the tail of Ratigan, a giant rat. Olivia is shouting and making angry faces with her fists balled up. The caption reads, 'Take no shit, Olivia'

The voice work is great, across the board. Even the background characters are voiced well. The action is non-stop, and it has just as much tension and anticipation as any other Sherlock Holmes caper. The plot is nice and contained, and the movie doesn't try to do too much (which The Black Cauldron DEFINITELY did). It's well-written and fantastically acted, and the only grade dings I'm giving it are that the animation isn't revolutionary and the songs are good but not great. I'm placing it below The Jungle Book because the music is better in the Jungle Book (and there are more fantastic characters - the characters in The Great Mouse Detective are wonderful, but there are less of them).

I know everyone hates rats. I wish Ratigan wasn't one because they legitimately make him scary as hell.

The music isn't that great, but there's mercifully few songs.

May 18th, 2021
Pete's Dragon
A movie release poster shows a group of white people, 4 men, a woman, and a young boy, surrounding a green animated dragon with pink wings and red hair. The poster says "Coming at Christmas, Walt Disney Productions' Pete's Dragon"
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Five human actors, a woman, a man, and three children of various ages, sit on a flying brass bed with a floral blanket, with the moon and clouds behind them. Below them, illustrated animals are in various poses: two fish dance together (one in a suit); two fish and an octopus play in a band together with the words "The Briny Boys" on the front of the drum kit; an alligator, a rhino, and a gorilla run around a soccer field in yellow and green athletic outfits; a lion in a crown and red royal robe stands with one foot on the soccer ball; and a secretary bird in a suit with glasses stands watching.

Recent Snark

Bert, a chimney sweep, Jane, a young blonde child in a red dress and yellow overcoat, Michael, a young strawberry blonde child in short pants and a button coat, and Mary Poppins, a nanny in a red dress with a black hat with white flowers, stand on a rooftop, covered in soot.

Mary Poppins

Julie Andrews is a genuine delight, whether she's being fun or she's irritated. It's not just her voice, her whole presence is just delightful. George and Winifred Banks are excellent side characters, and the kids are as adorable as they need to be. Dick Van Dyke is a national treasure and I won't hear a word against him.

Structurally, there's not really a plot, but that makes sense given that it's based on a series of kind of episodic books. It's also very long. I think the length and episodic nature takes away from the character study of stuffy, cross Mr. Banks and how he learns from his children (and Mary Poppins and Bert) how to retain a sense of wonder and joy. But it's consistently fun. The music is delightful, the dancing is wonderful, and the adventures Mary Poppins and Bert and the kids go on are spectacular. I'm sure I have nostalgia for it but I think this stands up, to be honest.

The dings on the grade are for occasional bad costumes, bad makeup, the length, the imperialist nonsense. I'm honestly tempted to raise it back up because of the flawless animation/live action melding.

September 13th, 2022
Bigfoot, a giant humanoid creature with red fur, sits in front of a cardboard box with a downward pointing arrow on the side, wearing a pair of white men's briefs underwear on his head. He holds the crotch hole open with his fingers so he can look out. Goofy, a dog-like humanoid cartoon with black skin and a pale face, and long ears, watches from his yellow car several hundred feet behind Bigfoot, with his son Max in the passenger seat; Max looks similar to Goofy.

A Goofy Movie

I know this is shameful for someone my age but I've never seen this movie before. I may have caught bits of it when my brothers were younger, but the only thing I remember is Pauly Shore doing the leaning tower of cheese-a. I'm pretty much going into this one blind.

March 1st, 2022