Film Snark

A bloodhound puppy (Copper) sits on the ground inside a fallen log with moss on it; a red fox pup (Todd) stands on top of the log and is peeking upside down over the edge to look at the bloodhound.
C
Disney Animated Features

The Fox and the Hound
Released: July 10th, 1981

Not spectacular, but it wasn't awful like some of the preceding ones. It gets a couple nostalgia points; it's cute.

Some of the animation here is precise and well thought out; some of it is kinda weird. I like the Widow Tweed immediately.

Notable Grossness

I literally just wish the owl's name wasn't Big Mama. :sigh: Amos Slade shouting "female" is actually pretty intense - I could do with a lot less of that. I wish the Widow Tweed had shot him in the guts. Also fat jokes. GREAT.

The music is really irritatingly boring. This is the era of the weird ass 70s/80s ballad for sure.

OH TOD, YOU ARE BUSTED NOW. WIDOW TWEED IS GONNA SMACK YOU. SPILLED MILK!

This was Grandpa Joe's last movie! 🙁 Amos Slade was played by the guy who played Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka and it's his last film role. I wish Boomer wasn't just Tigger in woodpecker form. Pro Tip: grown-up Copper is Kurt Russel. YOU'RE WELCOME.

"Arooooooooo!" "My name's Copper. I'm a hound doooog." Omg. When Copper bays for the first time it's so damn cute. My entire heart.

I forgot about "The Best of Friends," and I started singing it once it started, but I remember it being a better song. "Copper, you're my very best friend." "And you're mine too, Tod." MY DAMN HEART. Tod - what a troublemaker!!! Runs right into the chicken coop. omg when Amos is shooting at little tiny Tod from like one inch away - come on man, he's just a baby!!!!! RUDE. Amos, an old white man with ruddy skin, gray hair and a bushy gray mustache, wearing a pair of white long underwear and a light brown hat with a dark brown band, stands outside shaking his fist, as a long gray gun barrel gets stuck into his stomach. He puts his hands up. The Widow Tweed, an old white woman with gray hair, glasses, a purple hat with a blue flower, a dark purple jacket, white apron and dark green skirt, holds the shotgun, her eyes narrowed and teeth gritted. The caption reads, 'Shoot him, shoot him, shoot him, shoot him Widow Tweed'

Widow Tweed putting the gun in Amos' chest - fuckin'-a right, lady. I swear to god, if Amos said "female" one more time I was gonna leap through the screen and throttle him. But I wish Widow Tweed would have taken Tod to a fox sanctuary or a zoo or something, not just dropped him in the woods. To be honest, I think this movie could have done with 50% less time with the humans. It could have been very interesting if it wasn't just about one dude's vendetta against one fox. "Get back in there before I break your other leg." YOU DICK.

I get bored when Tod and Vixey are getting snuggly. Also I completely forgot most of the plot of this movie and when it got to the part with the bear I was like SHOCKED. Copper is a jerk though and Tod is the hero. Also, how is this the ending?! I demand a recount! WHY ARE THEY NOT BEST FRIENDS WITH LITTLE PUPPIES AND BABY FOXES PLAYING TOGETHER DON'T YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS, DISNEY?!

May 4th, 2021
Pete's Dragon
A movie release poster shows a group of white people, 4 men, a woman, and a young boy, surrounding a green animated dragon with pink wings and red hair. The poster says "Coming at Christmas, Walt Disney Productions' Pete's Dragon"
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Five human actors, a woman, a man, and three children of various ages, sit on a flying brass bed with a floral blanket, with the moon and clouds behind them. Below them, illustrated animals are in various poses: two fish dance together (one in a suit); two fish and an octopus play in a band together with the words "The Briny Boys" on the front of the drum kit; an alligator, a rhino, and a gorilla run around a soccer field in yellow and green athletic outfits; a lion in a crown and red royal robe stands with one foot on the soccer ball; and a secretary bird in a suit with glasses stands watching.

Recent Snark

Bert, a chimney sweep, Jane, a young blonde child in a red dress and yellow overcoat, Michael, a young strawberry blonde child in short pants and a button coat, and Mary Poppins, a nanny in a red dress with a black hat with white flowers, stand on a rooftop, covered in soot.

Mary Poppins

Julie Andrews is a genuine delight, whether she's being fun or she's irritated. It's not just her voice, her whole presence is just delightful. George and Winifred Banks are excellent side characters, and the kids are as adorable as they need to be. Dick Van Dyke is a national treasure and I won't hear a word against him.

Structurally, there's not really a plot, but that makes sense given that it's based on a series of kind of episodic books. It's also very long. I think the length and episodic nature takes away from the character study of stuffy, cross Mr. Banks and how he learns from his children (and Mary Poppins and Bert) how to retain a sense of wonder and joy. But it's consistently fun. The music is delightful, the dancing is wonderful, and the adventures Mary Poppins and Bert and the kids go on are spectacular. I'm sure I have nostalgia for it but I think this stands up, to be honest.

The dings on the grade are for occasional bad costumes, bad makeup, the length, the imperialist nonsense. I'm honestly tempted to raise it back up because of the flawless animation/live action melding.

September 13th, 2022
Bigfoot, a giant humanoid creature with red fur, sits in front of a cardboard box with a downward pointing arrow on the side, wearing a pair of white men's briefs underwear on his head. He holds the crotch hole open with his fingers so he can look out. Goofy, a dog-like humanoid cartoon with black skin and a pale face, and long ears, watches from his yellow car several hundred feet behind Bigfoot, with his son Max in the passenger seat; Max looks similar to Goofy.

A Goofy Movie

I know this is shameful for someone my age but I've never seen this movie before. I may have caught bits of it when my brothers were younger, but the only thing I remember is Pauly Shore doing the leaning tower of cheese-a. I'm pretty much going into this one blind.

March 1st, 2022