Film Snark

Two dogs, a gray mutt (Tramp) and a brown Cocker Spaniel with a blue collar and gold tag (Lady) sit at a table in an alleyway, eating spaghetti and meatballs. The table has a lit candle in a wine bottle and a jar of breadsticks.
C
Disney Animated Features

Lady and the Tramp
Released: June 22nd, 1955

It's all right. I thought I would like it more, I used to like it a lot, I think.

I really used to love this one. Lady, as a puppy, whines exactly how my childhood dogs Jake and Maggie used to whine when they were little. Jock has my favorite nose of all the dogs in this movie, but his accent is.....not excellent. I love it when he bristles at Tramp, that animation is great. Tramp is a handsome boy. I always forget how deep his voice is when he starts talking. I love Boris in the pound, but mostly I don't really like any of the other dogs. I'm kind of a picky jerk about dogs. Hahaha.

Notable Grossness

I went into this knowing about the Siamese cats depiction. It's gross as HELL. I really wish their song wasn't such a damn earworm because I'd love to forget it exists. Yikes re: the Chihuahua in the pound, too. There's a lot of ethnic stereotyping in general, ranging from vaguely harmless to pretty gross.

I much prefer Barbara Luddy as Merryweather in Sleeping Beauty, because I don't like Lady that much - after she grows up she's pretty boring.

During the baby shower scene, although it's short, I rolled my eyes pretty hard. LOL PREGNANT LADIES AND FATHERHOOD AMIRITE

In my headcanon, Aunt Sarah's cats are racist because she's evil. Trying to muzzle Lady, you evil bitch.

I wonder if the Lion King animators used Tramp fighting the dogs in the alley, chomping on their legs, as an inspiration for the hyenas. Maybe I'm misremembering it but I think there's a similar/same animation. Tramp snapping to and growling at the rat gives me chills and makes my hair stand on end every time. But......uh........why is the rat trying to get the baby in the first place? Apparently in an early script, Lady is the one who fights the rat. What garbage is that?! Let Lady fight the rat! Dammit.

My favorite humans are Tony and Joe, who are the best people ever. "Whatsamatta with you, Joe, I breaka you face," is probably my favorite line, followed shortly by, "But-a Tony, dogs-a don't talk." "HE'S-A TALK-A TO ME" "Okay, he's-a talk-a to you, you da boss. Mamma mia......" Even though these guys are stereotypes, it seems to me like it's harmless because they're lovely people who you care about. I fully acknowledge I might be wrong on that.

Other than Bella Notte (only the part that Tony sings), I don't really like any of the other songs. Jock, a small dark gray Scottish terrier with a red collar and gold tag, and Trusty, a large brown bloodhound with a black collar and gold tag, smile at each other and then look away from each other. They are in a yard with a white wooden fence and several green bushes. The caption says, 'Puppy husbands'

The animation and art is pretty good, but nothing super spectacular. BTW: more headcanon - Trusty and Jock are obviously a couple, right? When they're approaching Lady for matrimony so she can go into a home that will love her, it's like they're doing something desperate for their friend so she doesn't have to suffer, not that they actually want to marry her. Jock talks to Trusty like he's his husband. "There'll be no living with him now." Come on. That's a husband talking.

March 2nd, 2021
Pete's Dragon
A movie release poster shows a group of white people, 4 men, a woman, and a young boy, surrounding a green animated dragon with pink wings and red hair. The poster says "Coming at Christmas, Walt Disney Productions' Pete's Dragon"
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Five human actors, a woman, a man, and three children of various ages, sit on a flying brass bed with a floral blanket, with the moon and clouds behind them. Below them, illustrated animals are in various poses: two fish dance together (one in a suit); two fish and an octopus play in a band together with the words "The Briny Boys" on the front of the drum kit; an alligator, a rhino, and a gorilla run around a soccer field in yellow and green athletic outfits; a lion in a crown and red royal robe stands with one foot on the soccer ball; and a secretary bird in a suit with glasses stands watching.

Recent Snark

Bert, a chimney sweep, Jane, a young blonde child in a red dress and yellow overcoat, Michael, a young strawberry blonde child in short pants and a button coat, and Mary Poppins, a nanny in a red dress with a black hat with white flowers, stand on a rooftop, covered in soot.

Mary Poppins

Julie Andrews is a genuine delight, whether she's being fun or she's irritated. It's not just her voice, her whole presence is just delightful. George and Winifred Banks are excellent side characters, and the kids are as adorable as they need to be. Dick Van Dyke is a national treasure and I won't hear a word against him.

Structurally, there's not really a plot, but that makes sense given that it's based on a series of kind of episodic books. It's also very long. I think the length and episodic nature takes away from the character study of stuffy, cross Mr. Banks and how he learns from his children (and Mary Poppins and Bert) how to retain a sense of wonder and joy. But it's consistently fun. The music is delightful, the dancing is wonderful, and the adventures Mary Poppins and Bert and the kids go on are spectacular. I'm sure I have nostalgia for it but I think this stands up, to be honest.

The dings on the grade are for occasional bad costumes, bad makeup, the length, the imperialist nonsense. I'm honestly tempted to raise it back up because of the flawless animation/live action melding.

September 13th, 2022
Bigfoot, a giant humanoid creature with red fur, sits in front of a cardboard box with a downward pointing arrow on the side, wearing a pair of white men's briefs underwear on his head. He holds the crotch hole open with his fingers so he can look out. Goofy, a dog-like humanoid cartoon with black skin and a pale face, and long ears, watches from his yellow car several hundred feet behind Bigfoot, with his son Max in the passenger seat; Max looks similar to Goofy.

A Goofy Movie

I know this is shameful for someone my age but I've never seen this movie before. I may have caught bits of it when my brothers were younger, but the only thing I remember is Pauly Shore doing the leaning tower of cheese-a. I'm pretty much going into this one blind.

March 1st, 2022