Film Snark

Johnny Appleseed, a thin white man with long brown hair in a ponytail with a bow, wearing a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, red vest, and tan pants, picks a red apple off an apple tree in front of a blue-green sky with a cloud in it.
B
Disney Animated Features

Melody Time
Released: May 27th, 1948

This one probably has the highest number of cartoons I recognize from childhood.

Man the 40s was so focused on romance. It gets to be a little much. Anyway - I love Once Upon a Wintertime, it's memorable and the music is nice. I love the animation, it's adorable. Bumble Boogie is also great, though the animation doesn't do much for me. I just love Flight of the Bumblebee. The Legend of Johnny Appleseed is a classic, even though it's got some weird "pioneers and Native Americans together eating apple-related foods" vibe in the middle. I like the music and it's definitely sing-along-able, and the animation is very nice. As ridiculous as American folk legend is (oh hai manifest destiny), this is one of the least harmful parts of it; Johnny Appleseed preferred wild apples to bred/spliced apples, so at least he was planting native flora (except when he planted noxious weeds :sigh: ).

Notable Grossness

Some weird "let's all eat apples together" with pioneers and a few Native Americans that seems.......revisionist but hopeful? Like, this is how it should have been? But still kind of jarring. Pecos is pretty gross in concept; one of the kids says, "does the story have Injuns in it?" and Roy Rogers says, "I could throw a couple in I guess", and then the kid gets mad when he finds out there's a woman in the story - despite being surrounded by like 4 other young girls. Ugh. Then....the part with the Native Americans uses the term redskins, and Bill is shooting up their "painted war dance", which is what caused the Painted Desert, per folklore.

Little Toot is GREAT and adorable. Great animation, great story, great music. Trees is another that probably belongs in Fantasia but it's mercifully short. Blame it on the Samba brings back my Brazilian boyfriend José and the Aracuan bird (who sadly does not sing his song that I love so much). It's cute and has a live action bit with a woman playing the organ that is fun. I love the music. And Pecos Bill - again, super problematic in its "wild west" portrayal. Tiny note: the cats in the family wagon look like Lucifer from Cinderella, pretty excited about that. Pecos Bill is a total jerk, running around town shooting his guns all over the place; shooting up Native Americans who were minding their own business. I used to really love this cartoon but now it doesn't have enough good to overcome the grossness. Though I love Slue-Foot Sue riding bucking Widow-Maker and bouncing on her bustle, she's great. Slue-foot Sue, a white woman with red hair wearing a yellow gown with a bustle underneath, white gloves, and white cowboy hat, walks up to Widowmaker, a wild brown horse who's tied by numerous ropes that Sue steps over, lifting her skirt as she walks. The caption says, 'Me sauntering up to my bad decisions'

This whole movie feels like it's just the right amount of random to show all these together; I think it might be the music that ties it together.

January 19th, 2021
Pete's Dragon
A movie release poster shows a group of white people, 4 men, a woman, and a young boy, surrounding a green animated dragon with pink wings and red hair. The poster says "Coming at Christmas, Walt Disney Productions' Pete's Dragon"
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Five human actors, a woman, a man, and three children of various ages, sit on a flying brass bed with a floral blanket, with the moon and clouds behind them. Below them, illustrated animals are in various poses: two fish dance together (one in a suit); two fish and an octopus play in a band together with the words "The Briny Boys" on the front of the drum kit; an alligator, a rhino, and a gorilla run around a soccer field in yellow and green athletic outfits; a lion in a crown and red royal robe stands with one foot on the soccer ball; and a secretary bird in a suit with glasses stands watching.

Recent Snark

Bert, a chimney sweep, Jane, a young blonde child in a red dress and yellow overcoat, Michael, a young strawberry blonde child in short pants and a button coat, and Mary Poppins, a nanny in a red dress with a black hat with white flowers, stand on a rooftop, covered in soot.

Mary Poppins

Julie Andrews is a genuine delight, whether she's being fun or she's irritated. It's not just her voice, her whole presence is just delightful. George and Winifred Banks are excellent side characters, and the kids are as adorable as they need to be. Dick Van Dyke is a national treasure and I won't hear a word against him.

Structurally, there's not really a plot, but that makes sense given that it's based on a series of kind of episodic books. It's also very long. I think the length and episodic nature takes away from the character study of stuffy, cross Mr. Banks and how he learns from his children (and Mary Poppins and Bert) how to retain a sense of wonder and joy. But it's consistently fun. The music is delightful, the dancing is wonderful, and the adventures Mary Poppins and Bert and the kids go on are spectacular. I'm sure I have nostalgia for it but I think this stands up, to be honest.

The dings on the grade are for occasional bad costumes, bad makeup, the length, the imperialist nonsense. I'm honestly tempted to raise it back up because of the flawless animation/live action melding.

September 13th, 2022
Bigfoot, a giant humanoid creature with red fur, sits in front of a cardboard box with a downward pointing arrow on the side, wearing a pair of white men's briefs underwear on his head. He holds the crotch hole open with his fingers so he can look out. Goofy, a dog-like humanoid cartoon with black skin and a pale face, and long ears, watches from his yellow car several hundred feet behind Bigfoot, with his son Max in the passenger seat; Max looks similar to Goofy.

A Goofy Movie

I know this is shameful for someone my age but I've never seen this movie before. I may have caught bits of it when my brothers were younger, but the only thing I remember is Pauly Shore doing the leaning tower of cheese-a. I'm pretty much going into this one blind.

March 1st, 2022