Film Snark

José Carioca, a green parrot wearing a yellow shirt with a high white collar and a black bowtie, Panchito Pistoles, a red rooster with a red shirt and pink jacket with yellow piping, and Donald Duck,a white duck with a blue sailor shirt and black bowtie, stand in a line holding up three of their fingers. They're all wearing sombreros, and they 're standing in front of a red curtain in a spotlight.
B-
Disney Animated Features

The Three Caballeros
Released: December 21st, 1944

I frickin love this stupid package film.

I love this frickin movie. It moves quickly and there's plenty of hilarity, like Pablo the Penguin getting stuck on the Equator and needing Neptune to lift up the Equator so he could get under it, the Aracuan bird who has one of my favorite cameos in film history, the flying donkey, and many other bits. This is just classic, animated humor and storytelling.

Notable Grossness

Donald basically being a horndog for the entirety of the picture, but I try to ignore him basically. Also there are several "directed" scenes of cultural dance and song, and I don't know how accurate those are (but I can sure tell that the singers and dancers chosen are pretty pale, particularly the women).

My Brazilian boyfriend José is back, and he sings a lovely song. I honestly think the Disney animators went to Rio for Saludos Amigos and fell in love. They've written some beautiful songs and drawn some stunning animation glorifying Brazil. Donald Duck, a white duck in a blue sailor shirt, Panchito Pistoles, a red rooster wearing a brown holster belt with a pistol, and José Carioca, a green parrot in a yellow jacket, stand in a line dancing, moving their right feet forward and backward in rhythm. They are all wearing tan sombreros. The caption says, 'Fancy birds'

The animation is cute and well-defined. The narration is excellent in every segment. The music is well-chosen and makes the stories feel important. The writing is great - sometimes they're using rhyming verse and sometimes not, and it always seems tonally appropriate and integral to the storytelling.

The only problem for me is Donald being irritating and woman-chasing, and how the end devolves into a bit more Looney Tunes than I typically would prefer, it gets a bit grating by the time the Fin title card shows.

December 22nd, 2020
Pete's Dragon
A movie release poster shows a group of white people, 4 men, a woman, and a young boy, surrounding a green animated dragon with pink wings and red hair. The poster says "Coming at Christmas, Walt Disney Productions' Pete's Dragon"
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Five human actors, a woman, a man, and three children of various ages, sit on a flying brass bed with a floral blanket, with the moon and clouds behind them. Below them, illustrated animals are in various poses: two fish dance together (one in a suit); two fish and an octopus play in a band together with the words "The Briny Boys" on the front of the drum kit; an alligator, a rhino, and a gorilla run around a soccer field in yellow and green athletic outfits; a lion in a crown and red royal robe stands with one foot on the soccer ball; and a secretary bird in a suit with glasses stands watching.

Recent Snark

Bert, a chimney sweep, Jane, a young blonde child in a red dress and yellow overcoat, Michael, a young strawberry blonde child in short pants and a button coat, and Mary Poppins, a nanny in a red dress with a black hat with white flowers, stand on a rooftop, covered in soot.

Mary Poppins

Julie Andrews is a genuine delight, whether she's being fun or she's irritated. It's not just her voice, her whole presence is just delightful. George and Winifred Banks are excellent side characters, and the kids are as adorable as they need to be. Dick Van Dyke is a national treasure and I won't hear a word against him.

Structurally, there's not really a plot, but that makes sense given that it's based on a series of kind of episodic books. It's also very long. I think the length and episodic nature takes away from the character study of stuffy, cross Mr. Banks and how he learns from his children (and Mary Poppins and Bert) how to retain a sense of wonder and joy. But it's consistently fun. The music is delightful, the dancing is wonderful, and the adventures Mary Poppins and Bert and the kids go on are spectacular. I'm sure I have nostalgia for it but I think this stands up, to be honest.

The dings on the grade are for occasional bad costumes, bad makeup, the length, the imperialist nonsense. I'm honestly tempted to raise it back up because of the flawless animation/live action melding.

September 13th, 2022
Bigfoot, a giant humanoid creature with red fur, sits in front of a cardboard box with a downward pointing arrow on the side, wearing a pair of white men's briefs underwear on his head. He holds the crotch hole open with his fingers so he can look out. Goofy, a dog-like humanoid cartoon with black skin and a pale face, and long ears, watches from his yellow car several hundred feet behind Bigfoot, with his son Max in the passenger seat; Max looks similar to Goofy.

A Goofy Movie

I know this is shameful for someone my age but I've never seen this movie before. I may have caught bits of it when my brothers were younger, but the only thing I remember is Pauly Shore doing the leaning tower of cheese-a. I'm pretty much going into this one blind.

March 1st, 2022