Film Snark

Gepetto, an old white man with white hair, white mustache, and blue eyes, wearing a white shirt and a red vest, holds the strings of Pinocchio, a wooden white-skinned puppet wearing a yellow sshirt, red vest, and blue bow tie, as well as a white collar.
A-
Disney Animated Features

Pinocchio
Released: February 23rd, 1940

This movie is a joy. I forgot how good this was.

The songs are memorable with clever lyrics and beautiful vocals. "When You Wish Upon A Star" is classic, "An Actor's Life for Me" is fun and funny, and "I've Got No Strings" is an enduring bit of fun - it's used to great effect in Avengers: Age of Ultron.

Notable Grossness

Stromboli is a "gypsy" and contributes to a negative ethnic stereotype. I also forgot to note the brief racist depiction in Snow White where Dopey has a cymbal on his head and they briefly draw him "acting Chinese" and with slightly exaggerated slanty-eyes features.

The animation is great - the beautiful, intricate work from Snow White remains in Geppetto's workshop creations, and the secondary characters are animated with as much care as Pinocchio is. There are moments of real terror - from Stromboli locking Pinocchio in a cage, to Lampwick's transformation into a donkey, to the sinister black figures on Pleasure Island, to Monstro, who is truly terrifying. I particularly noted the excellent animation when Monstro is chasing Geppetto and Pinocchio, because it was clear how extremely fast he was swimming, despite being an enormous whale. Jiminy Cricket, a cricket in a smooshed blue top hat, holding a closed umbrella and black shoes with gold spats, puts his black overcoat on backwards while shouting angrily at Pinocchio (off-screen). Jiminy is shouting, 'You buttered your bread, now sleep in it!'

This is the first time they started developing real humor. Jiminy Cricket is a riot. I requoted a lot of his lines to James as I was watching. They also did an excellent job at character building; even characters with a few lines felt fleshed out and interesting. Lampwick, Honest John, even the Blue Fairy felt like real characters to me. I also love the Pleasure Island sequence, and I'm really sad the Pleasure Island part of Disneyworld has been renamed, it was one of my favorite parts of going to Disney as an adult.

November 3rd, 2020
Pete's Dragon
A movie release poster shows a group of white people, 4 men, a woman, and a young boy, surrounding a green animated dragon with pink wings and red hair. The poster says "Coming at Christmas, Walt Disney Productions' Pete's Dragon"
Bedknobs and Broomsticks
Five human actors, a woman, a man, and three children of various ages, sit on a flying brass bed with a floral blanket, with the moon and clouds behind them. Below them, illustrated animals are in various poses: two fish dance together (one in a suit); two fish and an octopus play in a band together with the words "The Briny Boys" on the front of the drum kit; an alligator, a rhino, and a gorilla run around a soccer field in yellow and green athletic outfits; a lion in a crown and red royal robe stands with one foot on the soccer ball; and a secretary bird in a suit with glasses stands watching.

Recent Snark

Bert, a chimney sweep, Jane, a young blonde child in a red dress and yellow overcoat, Michael, a young strawberry blonde child in short pants and a button coat, and Mary Poppins, a nanny in a red dress with a black hat with white flowers, stand on a rooftop, covered in soot.

Mary Poppins

Julie Andrews is a genuine delight, whether she's being fun or she's irritated. It's not just her voice, her whole presence is just delightful. George and Winifred Banks are excellent side characters, and the kids are as adorable as they need to be. Dick Van Dyke is a national treasure and I won't hear a word against him.

Structurally, there's not really a plot, but that makes sense given that it's based on a series of kind of episodic books. It's also very long. I think the length and episodic nature takes away from the character study of stuffy, cross Mr. Banks and how he learns from his children (and Mary Poppins and Bert) how to retain a sense of wonder and joy. But it's consistently fun. The music is delightful, the dancing is wonderful, and the adventures Mary Poppins and Bert and the kids go on are spectacular. I'm sure I have nostalgia for it but I think this stands up, to be honest.

The dings on the grade are for occasional bad costumes, bad makeup, the length, the imperialist nonsense. I'm honestly tempted to raise it back up because of the flawless animation/live action melding.

September 13th, 2022
Bigfoot, a giant humanoid creature with red fur, sits in front of a cardboard box with a downward pointing arrow on the side, wearing a pair of white men's briefs underwear on his head. He holds the crotch hole open with his fingers so he can look out. Goofy, a dog-like humanoid cartoon with black skin and a pale face, and long ears, watches from his yellow car several hundred feet behind Bigfoot, with his son Max in the passenger seat; Max looks similar to Goofy.

A Goofy Movie

I know this is shameful for someone my age but I've never seen this movie before. I may have caught bits of it when my brothers were younger, but the only thing I remember is Pauly Shore doing the leaning tower of cheese-a. I'm pretty much going into this one blind.

March 1st, 2022